Are you Caught in the Performance Trap? By Mark Pfeifer

In today's results-oriented world, the Performance Trap is one of the greatest dangers for today’s church leaders. It doesn’t help that we live in the United States.  We are inundated with an entertainment culture that highly celebrates and compensates performers.

 Add to this, our form of government forces leaders to perform for public approval.  Politically oriented leadership can manifest itself in many different spheres, including the church.

 Even our economic system rewards performances.  Names like Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and Warren Buffett come to mind.  Even unknown employees receive regular performance evaluations. 

 Put all this together, and you have a perfect storm where a Performance Trap exists around every corner.  This is the relentless pursuit of perfection at the expense of personal well-being, quality relationships, and genuine satisfaction in life.

 Church leaders are especially prone to them! 

 Where’s why…

 Many of us feel like posers and pretenders, anyway.  Our deep insecurities often get the best of us.  It seems like everyone else has it together and knows what they are doing.  We, on the other hand, lack the fundamental self-assurance to know that we are no different than anyone else and have nothing to prove.

 In an absence of genuine security, we overcompensate for our perceived inadequacies with performances meant to prove to others (and ourselves) that we belong.

 The common name for this is, Imposter Syndrome.  This is a psychological pattern where individuals doubt their skills, talents, or accomplishments and have a persistent fear of being exposed as a "fraud."

 Laboring under this yoke, many leaders struggle with identity.  They fear personal relationships.  They engage in constant competitive striving.  They have a hard time trusting others.  They cannot receive compliments gracefully.

 People like this become a volatile combination of insecurity and arrogance.  You never know which one is going to explode first.

 What’s more, ministers are basically a part of the service industry.  We serve the needs of people every week.  This can easily turn that into performing for our congregation’s approval. 

 It feels good when someone compliments us for being kind and caring after a hospital visit, a timely phone call, a social media post, or a card sent in the mail.

 It doesn’t help our performance mode that we are on a stage every week, either! 

 Like most people in the spotlight, we are inevitably judged on our performances.  Whether it’s the worship leader or a pastor, we are subject to public opinion.

 When we do good and the compliments are flowing, we savor the ego reinforcement.  We feel energized and encouraged.  This makes us try even harder the next time.  

 We convince ourselves that it’s all done in the name of serving God and His people.  When, in fact, we enjoy the affirmation we receive more than the act, itself.

 How do I know?

 Because I see how we fall apart when criticized.  

 Let’s be clear!  Nobody likes criticism.  We’d all rather be complimented than criticized. 

 But when criticism makes us fall apart…when it crushes our spirit…when it makes us want to quit…when it makes us so discouraged that we want to hide in a cave with Elijah, maybe we should stop blaming Jezebel and start looking in the mirror!

 What was in us that gave the enemy the power to manipulate us emotionally like this?

 Often, the answer is that we valued other people’s opinions more than God’s approval.  We valued ovations over obedience. 

 We followed the compliments of people like breadcrumbs down a demonic path.  We exchanged the joy of fellowship with God for the exuberance of people’s applause.

 We blindly and deliriously wondered into the Performance Trap and now feel the horrific results.  One perfectly timed complaint…one anonymous letter…one negative comment on social media…and we are blown out of the water.

 Avoiding the Performance Trap requires a fundamental shift in where we find satisfaction, how we perceive success, and where we form our identity.

 Here are three suggestions you might find helpful in avoiding the Performance Trap:

 1. MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD THE SOURCE OF YOUR PERSONAL IDENTITY

 To avoid falling into unhealthy performance, we must cultivate the inherent pleasure and satisfaction from walking with God. 

 We must foster our primary identity from being His child.

 Period! 

 We need to discover who we are without ministry.  We need to learn how to be the same person in private as we are in public.  This helps us confidently navigate the world while being comfortable in our own skin.

 Which leads us to the next suggestion…

 2. MAINTAIN A TIGHT CIRCLE OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS

 Do your best to surround yourself with people who know you as a person, first.  They are not fans.  You don’t impress them with your performances. 

 This circle begins with your spouse and family.  Keep them close.  Interact with them as any husband, wife, father, mother, or grandparent should.  Your family will help keep you rooted and grounded in reality.  

 Second, create and maintain a close set of friends outside the scope of ministry.  Many times, this is a circle of people you’ve known for a long time, some even before you become a minister of God.  Like your family, they are not impressed with your “anointing.”

 3. FOCUS ON PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT OVER PUBLIC ACHIEVEMENT

 Focusing on personal development over public achievement will give you a greater sense of satisfaction in personal growth than public achievements.

 Valuing personal growth over outward accomplishments privatizes our contentment and removes it from needing external sources to maintain its strength. 

 A personal growth mindset helps us view challenges as opportunities for learning rather than as threats to self-worth.  

 Even our critics become an appreciated voice! 

 By focusing on the journey of self-improvement, individuals can appreciate their progress and accomplishments without being consumed by the need for constant validation.

 CONCLUSION

 In conclusion, avoiding the Performance Trap requires cultivating a relationship with God that brings personal satisfaction, keeping a tight circle of family and friends that aren’t impressed with our accomplishments, and a conscious effort to redefine success in more personal terms. 

 These three things will help us break free from the constraints of performance-based self-worth.

 This will also help us avoid burnout and stay engaged in ministry for the long haul!

 We want to be doing this with you for a long time.

© 2024 Mark Pfeifer, USCAL and ICAL Co-convenor